I'm sinking. I've changed. And I don't even know if I want to be the simple me again. I'm just sinking. Just sinking.

So, we'll just look at each other

And so you'll keep looking at me with those crazy lost eyes of yours. I told you that I loved you, didn't I sweetheart. And you still say that I just won't enter your garden. And even worse, you won't really say a word to me.

So be things as you choose. And we'll just keep looking at each other, like we were saving each other from drowning. Supposedly far and yet so close. I love you.

But there's just one thing that's driving me crazy, the sound of you cough. Crazy but ya. Never missed a cough of yours, in all this time. Heheheehe. Each time you cough, the echo pierces right through me, that crazy feeling - it kills me. Please sweetheart just don't cough, not across the space between us.

The hell has my bubble burst

No my bubble hasn't burst. I love you sweetheart and nothing changes that. And so what if you.............
I'm a bloody dreamer and a fighter, God knows how. So be things the way you want them to, and the way I want them to...........
And joy and bliss always remains......

Burst My Bubble

Bliss and joy was all I spoke of and felt all these days. And now, it's just another beautiful evening and my bubble has burst. I lied. I said I loved him without wanting anything. But then yes I do want something, but not getting it dosen't make me stop loving him. I did what I had to do, and I'll keep feeling what I want to feel. I said that and I'll live up to that. Can't get myself to stop feeling that way.

We are going to win

Football finals was today. Italy won.

Roomate's gone out, partying for the final match. So I have the room to myself and I've decided not to sleep and make the most of it. I put up this lampshade a few days back, the room looks amazing, and there is music playing. Lovely weather tonight.

I told this friend that if we reach the cricket world cup finals next year, we'll go partying hard, that freak says it'll be a day match. I tell you we are so winning next year. It'll be perfect. Probably Sachins last and yes it'll be Dhonis first. I'll go crazy if we win. It's been too long now. I wish I was born when we won it, I missed it by two years. It's been too long. We are winning next year, I swear we are.

My friend

The other day I had dinner early and came right back to my room. Not lonely, not sad, just wanted to be on my own in my room before roomate got back. Not that I have issues with her, I like her. Just wanted to be alone. Came back and called mom and dad, and then called this friend. Like they say old friends are best friends......sigh......nothing like an old friend.
Spoke to her after quite sometime. We haven't really kept in touch, we don't know the details of each others lives. Not the way I'm in touch with Shally and others. But she's special, very special.
She spoke of the weather in Bombay and how it had been raining for the past two days, and she'd been sitting at home and reading. Though she doesn't really read. And I think I told her how the wind just wouldn't stop roaring here in Hyderabad. She told me that I must read the book she is reading, a friend of hers lent it to her, apparentely this friend of hers is the tallest model in India.
We spoke of other things and then for some reason I had to stop talking I told her I'd call her the next day, and well I still haven't. Doesn't bother me. She's there and she's one of my dearest friends.
There was this card that I wrote for her some five or six years back, she tells me she keeps it in her cupboard and reads it often still. I remember some of what I had written, but I still wonder what wisdom from me, back then when we were kids.
Love you sweetheart. Not like she's ever going to read this. Thats life, somebody yours without being a part of your life, the thought of someone making you smile and you not worried about ever meeting that person again. Nothing to gain, nothing to lose. Just a feeling that makes life beautiful.