Celebration time...

The Crow has won a fiction writing competition - second place - a ten thousand rupees!!!
Cheers to the organizers, the crow shall ever be grateful.

It's crazy. The last time that I ever won anything was back in school (years ago now) - my medals at long distance running and 400 m. That was the only thing I'd ever been "good" at. That was the only time when I pushed myself to get better. That was the only time I ever wanted to be good at something. Since then yes I want to write better, teach myself.

I've always told my friends that the only thing I wish to achieve in law school is to win some writing competition - legal or otherwise. And this comes just when needed most - when I've been thinking of how law school has been a waste - how I didn't push myself to make something out of me - how I didn't try to see my space in this world, I didn't even realise that was the purpose of life - how I'd never make the same mistake again - and how from now my life was going to be bigger than me.

Oh and yes I dared to read my "award winning entry" again, I think it sucks, could have been much much better. Can't wait to sound the way I want to sound

The crow shall live a mighty big life, however long. There's work to do. It is time, finally.

Yellow Flowers

In the summertime there will be joy.

In the summertime you'll learn to be a friend again.

In the summertime you'll learn to love again.

In the summertime you'll never be angry again.

In the summertime you'll unlearn that damn feeling called envy.

In the summertime you'll be the same again.

Amen.

Love

He'll talk of how tall you were.
He'll talk of how you woke up at five each morning and got him dressed for work.
He'll talk of the fruits he bought for you to feed the monkeys and the pigeons.
He'll tell of how much liked open spaces.
He'll talk of how strong you were.
He'll talk of how happy you made him.
He'll talk of what you liked to watch on TV.
He'll talk of how you liked the books.
He'll show things you chose to buy at shops.
He'll show pictures of you for all to see how beautiful you are and how proud he is.
He'll talk of how his only wish was to send you to school.
They lived for you, you taught them to.
You did them proud and happy.
Proud and happy they shall always be.
Amen.

To be a woman?

There is a lake near my college. During the rains it enters campus, that close. The entire area surrounding it is a rocky open space with hillocks, all desolate except for the recent settlement that's coming up. I've spent several evenings by the lake and one morning. It's mostly after I'v cycled the two kilometre stretch from college to the main road and back that I cycle to the lake and my friend who goes for a jog joins me later. Or I go their with friends for a stroll. We sit and just stare, it's the thing that the sea, the river does to you, the breeze. There are plenty of different kinds of birds too. I'm not nature loving kind of person and I didn't know a thing about birds before this. There are also ducks these days. Spending the evening there is my idea of a good evening in college.

The place is also a hangout area for lovers and those getting to know each other. Like I said I go there with my friends. However I have DARED to go there alone few times. Dared, I'm a woman you see. The first time I went alone was because from a distance I could see couples from my college sitting there so I knew I'd be safe. And so I went and sat at a place which wouldn't bother them. Each time I'm alone cycling and there's no friend out for a stroll or a jog I look out hopefully to see people from my college. Mostly they're there and SO I get to do what I want. Once there was nobody and I cycled along searching, hoping and returned upset. Today the same happened however I'd experienced too well my feelings from that day, so I decided to go. There were few men near the temple on the way but I still went. When I reached the lakeside I didn't sit first I kept standing with my back to the lake looking to see what the men near the temple were doing. Then I thought it was a stupid thing to be so scared and that I should just sit and if somebody did try to mess with me I would FUCKING KILL, KILL.

I sat there today staring at the lake cursing. I could fucking shoot every man who has ever made a woman feel less just because she's a woman.

PS - In the passing I also hate men for the foul smell they create, apart from the ever present body odour (No and it's not about using a deodrant, village men smell, village women don't). "dammit stop spraying the walls and the roadside of every city with your piss, it fucking stinks, Loser!" I say. Every looked forward visit to the city is welcomed by the stench at the bus stop. AWESOME.