The Ash Wind

She was happy, very happy. The wind as always took her right places. She felt divine. Then from out of nowhere came the ash wind. And then she lost control of herself, her senses, her heart, her mind and her body. She was sick, very sick. Maybe not really sick, but sick. She lost control of her mind.Eighteen days since the ash wind came, now she sits and cries. Her bones hurt, she hasn't really eaten since then. She wants you to listen. She loves you. She thinks you're the magic in her life, the thought of you, the things she does because of you, the sight of you "makes her come alive". She thinks life is joy, and a lot of it comes because of you. She thinks telling you this will cure her. She thinks loving you will cure her.

They loved her. She cried, they understood. They fed her, made her sleep, took care of her, just like family. They bloody loved her. She loves them too.

But she'd lost control of her senses. There was fear, just fear. She couldn't sleep, with her heart beating wild with fear. People call it anxiety, hypochondria, stress, how did it matter to her, for her it was just fear. She tried to paint it with colours in the day - blue, yellow, red, she prayed in the night finally. She couldn't really share it, they made her sleep close by, but the fear was hers and hers alone, in the dead of the night, the sounds of her body, the tremor of a nerve, the beat of a vein terrified her.

She wanted to love you. But she couldn't, not as much as she wanted to. Not in her sickness.

She was just scared. Very scared.

She loves you.