To be a woman?

There is a lake near my college. During the rains it enters campus, that close. The entire area surrounding it is a rocky open space with hillocks, all desolate except for the recent settlement that's coming up. I've spent several evenings by the lake and one morning. It's mostly after I'v cycled the two kilometre stretch from college to the main road and back that I cycle to the lake and my friend who goes for a jog joins me later. Or I go their with friends for a stroll. We sit and just stare, it's the thing that the sea, the river does to you, the breeze. There are plenty of different kinds of birds too. I'm not nature loving kind of person and I didn't know a thing about birds before this. There are also ducks these days. Spending the evening there is my idea of a good evening in college.

The place is also a hangout area for lovers and those getting to know each other. Like I said I go there with my friends. However I have DARED to go there alone few times. Dared, I'm a woman you see. The first time I went alone was because from a distance I could see couples from my college sitting there so I knew I'd be safe. And so I went and sat at a place which wouldn't bother them. Each time I'm alone cycling and there's no friend out for a stroll or a jog I look out hopefully to see people from my college. Mostly they're there and SO I get to do what I want. Once there was nobody and I cycled along searching, hoping and returned upset. Today the same happened however I'd experienced too well my feelings from that day, so I decided to go. There were few men near the temple on the way but I still went. When I reached the lakeside I didn't sit first I kept standing with my back to the lake looking to see what the men near the temple were doing. Then I thought it was a stupid thing to be so scared and that I should just sit and if somebody did try to mess with me I would FUCKING KILL, KILL.

I sat there today staring at the lake cursing. I could fucking shoot every man who has ever made a woman feel less just because she's a woman.

PS - In the passing I also hate men for the foul smell they create, apart from the ever present body odour (No and it's not about using a deodrant, village men smell, village women don't). "dammit stop spraying the walls and the roadside of every city with your piss, it fucking stinks, Loser!" I say. Every looked forward visit to the city is welcomed by the stench at the bus stop. AWESOME.